John McCain VS. a Mummy

With the election just over a month away there are more questions floating around than answers. Last weeks debate didn't shed much light on any of the real issues and all of the uncertainty on Wall Street isn't helping the situation.

Personally, I think it's time that at least one issue is settled. As you may already know, there are many similarities between John McCain and a mummy but which one wins in a face off? Check out John McCain vs. a mummy.

On Use of Medical Supplies
John McCain: At the age of 72 his medical needs could put Medicare out of its misery.
A Mummy: Goes through crazy amounts of gauze.
Advantage: John McCain

On Worldly Possessions
John McCain: Has too many houses to count.
A Mummy: Has a nice tomb filled with lots of historic artifacts.
Advantage: John McCain

On Political Career and Influence
John McCain: American soldier who became a United States Senator.
A Mummy: May actually be an Egyptian Pharaoh.
Advantage: Tie

On Choice of a Bride
John McCain: Cindy McCain
A Mummy: A Mummy Princess
Advantage: A Mummy

On Scariness as a Halloween Costume
John McCain: More ridiculous than scary, although somewhat scary.
A Mummy: Pretty scary.
Advantage: A Mummy

On Physical Fitness
John McCain: Can't raise his arms up past his shoulders.
A Mummy: Can't raise his arms up past his shoulders.
Advantage: Tie

On Starring in Movies and Television
John McCain: In multiple television commercials, both praising and criticizing him.
A Mummy: The Mummy Trilogy
Advantage: A Mummy

On General Evilness
John McCain: Member of the Republican Party.
A Mummy: Unnaturally rose from his sleep to take his place among the undead.
Advantage: John McCain

On General Awesomeness
John McCain: Not awesome at all.
A Mummy: Eddie from Iron Maiden RULES!!!!!!!!
Advantage: A Mummy

Wow, so it was close but in the end John McCain couldn't quite pull it off. If he can't even beat out a mummy how does he expect to win against Barack Obama in November? Think about that.

The Winner: A Mummy