Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Yup, Sounds About Right to Me.

As defined by

rogue [rogh] noun, verb, rogued, roguing, adjective


1. a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel.
2. a playfully mischievious person; scamp.
3. a tramp or vagabond.
4. a rogue elephant or other animal of similar disposition.
5. biology. A usually inferior organism, esp. a plant, varying markedly from the normal.

-verb (used without object)

6. to live or act as a rogue.

-verb (used with object)

7. to cheat.
8. to uproot or destroy (plants, etc., that do not conform to a desired standard).
9. to perform this operation upon: to rogue a field.


10. (of an animal) having an abnormally savage or unpredictable disposition, as a rogue elephant.
11. no longer obedient, belinging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable: deviating, renegade; a rogue cop; a rogue union local.


1555-65; appar. short for obs. roger begging vagabond, orig. cant word


1. villain, trickster, swindler, cheat, mountebank, quack. See KNAVE.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

John McCain VS. a Mummy

With the election just over a month away there are more questions floating around than answers. Last weeks debate didn't shed much light on any of the real issues and all of the uncertainty on Wall Street isn't helping the situation.

Personally, I think it's time that at least one issue is settled. As you may already know, there are many similarities between John McCain and a mummy but which one wins in a face off? Check out John McCain vs. a mummy.

On Use of Medical Supplies
John McCain: At the age of 72 his medical needs could put Medicare out of its misery.
A Mummy: Goes through crazy amounts of gauze.
Advantage: John McCain

On Worldly Possessions
John McCain: Has too many houses to count.
A Mummy: Has a nice tomb filled with lots of historic artifacts.
Advantage: John McCain

On Political Career and Influence
John McCain: American soldier who became a United States Senator.
A Mummy: May actually be an Egyptian Pharaoh.
Advantage: Tie

On Choice of a Bride
John McCain: Cindy McCain
A Mummy: A Mummy Princess
Advantage: A Mummy

On Scariness as a Halloween Costume
John McCain: More ridiculous than scary, although somewhat scary.
A Mummy: Pretty scary.
Advantage: A Mummy

On Physical Fitness
John McCain: Can't raise his arms up past his shoulders.
A Mummy: Can't raise his arms up past his shoulders.
Advantage: Tie

On Starring in Movies and Television
John McCain: In multiple television commercials, both praising and criticizing him.
A Mummy: The Mummy Trilogy
Advantage: A Mummy

On General Evilness
John McCain: Member of the Republican Party.
A Mummy: Unnaturally rose from his sleep to take his place among the undead.
Advantage: John McCain

On General Awesomeness
John McCain: Not awesome at all.
A Mummy: Eddie from Iron Maiden RULES!!!!!!!!
Advantage: A Mummy

Wow, so it was close but in the end John McCain couldn't quite pull it off. If he can't even beat out a mummy how does he expect to win against Barack Obama in November? Think about that.

The Winner: A Mummy

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

President Bush Addresses Nation on Financial Crisis

Earlier tonight, President Bush addressed the nation concerning the Wall Street financial crisis, telling the American people just how fucked they actually are.

“Really fucked, REALLY fucked.” Said Bush, as he read off of the teleprompter. “I mean, you guys are REEEEEALLY fucked..........”

After the speech, President Bush was seen securing his assets in Middle Eastern oil futures.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Senator Obama Speaks to the Masses

Earlier today, Senator Barack Obama traveled to the land of Coral Gables, FL. to speak to his people regarding their day to day afflictions. As he spoke, he promised relief from the evil and tyranny that has plagued the land for the past eight years.

“Blessed are the middle class, for they shall have tax benefits. Blessed are the women workers, for they shall have equal pay. Blessed are the unemployed, for their numbers shall decrease. Blessed are the blue-collar workers, for they shall have job security. Blessed are the college students, for they shall have tuition for school. Blessed are the 401k plan participants, for theirs is the kingdom of retirement.” said Senator Obama as he spoke to the multitude.

After the speech, many of the multitude were seen flocking toward Obama in an attempt to be in his presence. One woman in attendance instantly received a raise at work when she managed to get close enough to touch the hem of his Brooks Brothers garment.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Senator McCain Reveals Plans for Health Care Package

Today Senator John McCain unveiled his plan for a health care package in front of a crowd of supporters at a rally in Podunk, MO.  According to McCain, the plan would cover all Americans and would be implemented immediately upon him taking office if he were to win the presidential election this November.

"Americans need a health care package that is within reach of everybody and not just to those with insurance." McCain said at the rally.  "My health care package will be available without you even leaving your house."

The health care package, which would include a box of band aids, medical tape, a tube of disinfectant ointment, a bottle of Tylenol, as well as several pairs of surgical gloves, would be mailed out to recipients in waves based on the last two digits of their social security number.  According to the plan, once supplies in the health care package were depleted, recipients could replenish the package with store bought supplies that could then be stored in the handy, dandy carrying case the health care package would be arrive in.

Thursday, September 11, 2008